|Posted by Jermaine Sain on March 14, 2012 at 10:30 AM|
There is so much running through my brain right now that I don’t even think my fingers can keep up….So I ask you to forgive all the anticipated grammar errors in this article. I just need to talk about this before I blow my top! So this blog is going to be my little journal for the day!
I don’t know where to begin!
Do you remember the movie “Light It Up”? It had Usher in it. Well, in the last seven days I have learned many internal lessons. Nothing bad has occurred, it’s just that I’ve learn some things this week about the human experience.
The reason I brought up “Light It Up” was because one day last week I decided to go through my dvd collection and watch some of the old movies that I haven’t watched in forever. In that selection were movies like “Harlem Nights”, “New Jack City”, and “Light It Up” which I had to blow the dust off of! Anyway, there was a part in “Light It Up” that really stuck with me….it was the part were Ziggy gets shot and he tells Usher’s character to tell everyone that he stood up for himself… At the time I didn’t know why this particular spot was so important to me but then I started thinking about something. I always believed that the reason why people like Marvin Gaye, Nina Simone, James Brown, Sam Cooke, Bob Marley, Billie Holiday, and many more had so much feeling in their songs and were able to reach so many even after their deaths is because the music they sang had a purpose. Most of their music was more than just a quick hit with a nice hook and bass line. They were taking a stand for or against something. Whether standing against inequality in the world or standing for the belief of love, they had a message.
I said all that to say that sometimes I feel that we have lost the message in the music! It’s about a quick dollar. I’m not saying that I don’t like some of it because I do. There’s a time for everything! There’s a time to party and there’s a time to fight!
But do we have a fight or a struggle today? Some would say yes, and some would say no. Where are the artists that will bring the attention to the current injustices of the world? Where are the artist that will take a stand? Anyway….when I thought about it, I realized that’s what I want my music to do. I have not really focused on my music in about 3 or 4 years now. Not because I don’t think that I could be successful but because I wanted it to have meaning. ….and more each day I find myself in situations that spark an emotion makes me want to write…….. not about the world struggle but just about learning to live with one another.
(I told you so much is running through my mind)….JUST STAY WITH ME AND HOPEFULLY I’LL PULL IT ALL TOGETHER AT THE END….RIGHT NOW I’M JUST TYPING WHAT’S IN MY HEART!!!
In short, I want to be just like Ziggy in that movie, when my life ends on this earth I want the story to be told about how I stood up for myself. I want it to be told that every song I sang or wrote always told a story. In my own person life struggle, I want to be told how I fought for equality in my own ways.
(Ok….I’m switching gears a little but stay with me)….
I watch a lot of internet shows and although I know I shouldn’t, I often compare myself to them. I compare the content and quality etc. but mostly I compare them to other individuals like myself (do I need to say what type people? Ok gay!) Anyway, when I watch most of them, they are either talking about a lot of bullshit, or the latest celebrity gossip, or they are just giving the world what they need in order to be comfortable….What I mean is this….If I were showing my body (which is fine by the way!) or had 15 inch tracks running down my back, or talking about all the latest celebrity gossip (that I don’t give a damn about!)….I would be getting view after view after view…. I don’t have a problem with that nor any of the people who do that but what concerns me about “the kidz” is that we live our lives day to day talking about gossip, trying to find out who else is gay, or giving an Oscar winning performance to the crowds for a laugh that we forget some of the very truths that surround us every day….. That there are many people that hate us (even some of the ones that you are smiling in your face)….not because of anything we did to them but just because we love, who we love. It may seem far-fetched but it’s true….(An experience I had this week taught me this for the second time.)
(Going back to my original statement about standing up for yourself)
I said all that to say, I may not have the same struggle as some of our people did during the civil rights movement and I may not be a politically aware a others but what I do know is that I have the power to change a person’s perception….I may not ever change a person’s perception of gay people but I think it’s worth a try. I’m so tired of us giving the world the bullshit and never letting them see the real side. That’s one of the reasons why I continue to hold my interviews on When We Speak because I want the world to see that we do have interest in other things and that we can hold a decent conversation and that we don’t frolic around all the time……I want some little guy that grew up like myself to see me and understand that his sexuality doesn’t determine his destiny- GOD does!
I said I wasn’t going to tell the incident that happened but I will… (it’ll be brief) all that happened is that someone told me that a person I knew is very homophobic. I never knew it because I never really cared because I felt like, “don’t fuck with me and I won’t fuck with you”.
But anyway, as I was being told this information, they started telling me about different things that had occurred and how even this person had said some things about a year ago, about me and my sexuality. I wasn’t really too shocked about it because I kind of figured that the person was a little homophobic but what cut me was when I heard that they had said something about me! I didn’t confront them because it’s not worth confronting him because it happen a year or so ago. Besides, I know the truth….we may not talk and you may be homophobic but you gonna respect me! Just like I’m gonna respect you! And this person speaks to me when I’m in their presence….why? Because I believe that I’ve slightly opened his eyes……you may have your own perception of gay people but I didn’t fit that mold…. And as long as I live I hope to always be that person to open peoples’ eyes because most of them are ignorant to the gay lifestyle and even though they say they have lots of gay friends, they don’t! They usually only have friends that queen out in front of them for entertaining purposes.
My best friend said it best….. he said that one day he was talking to a girl and he told her that he believes that he was born gay. He says that she thought that was so funny and said, “I haven’t ever heard no one say that before!”. Then he asks her, “Well, how many gay people have you talked to?”. She says, “I have plenty of gay friends”. He says, “No, how many of them have you talked to!”
I said that to say….we have to show the world who we are and how to treat us…..
Ok….I’m done….this was not all that was in my mind actually but I am so tired of typing. Once again, I’m sure you will find lots of errors in the article but who cares, I just wanted to release some of my feelings today…..
I know I jumped around a lot but if you don’t remember nothing else, remember this … “stand up for who you are, don’t be ashamed of who you are, and remember that death and life are in the power of YOUR tongue”
Categories: Daily Thoughts